Friday, January 9, 2015

And so it is Friday....

I am not sure where this week has gone...busy and hectic in many respects with work, my dad's surgery and then the snow storm and deep freeze. I usually love the white painting of the earth by snow but this week it was just way too cold and below zero the whole could not even walk without feeling the cold deep within...and to think I was layered.

Hard to get through the week and still have time to reflect and write it down...lots of reflection and self-talking but still was a rambling of ideas.  I must admit that I have begun to change my routine by not watching tv to chill at night but rather to listen to music and use my chromebook...which I am now very much addicted to. This "new" approach has been beneficial and when I do not make the time I feel a loss and hole within.  So I feel that I am getting more on the focused path to tranquility and some level of inner peace. Today I picked up a new book by Brene Brown -- The Gifts of Imperfection and another Merton book or two :).  Again the age old Bob issue -- don't just buy the books, read them... and read the ones you have --- my book syndrome or maybe better put as a addiction.

Throughout this week I still have experienced that longing, that draw towards a more inner or spiritual space.  The draw and urge towards the LIGHT... the quiet urge, and yes the divine whisper within.

I love the image that is exactly what I feel/sense...the nudge to take the risk to move closer to God and further from my inner feeling of what I should be or do.. It is a very comforting whisper -- but at the same time unsettling.  It is a paradox.  I know that it is not an accident, it is the call to transgress from what is to what is unknown.  It is as if there is a warm hug within -- a spiritual quivering.  Such that I am drawn toward but also pull back.  It is almost as if I want to just curl up and let go -- like being in a warm blanket of a new security. The fact that this does not go away and in fact is becoming stronger is "telling" me that is is the most real "calling" I have had for a long time.  Each step forward becomes easier and my pulling back is less frequent or may less in distance.

The ultimate call we each have is to surrender and fall into the warm of the LIGHT.  To surrender the old self and ultimately to discover the true know your ultimate calling...the completion and satisfaction of all longings and desires...that are no longer mine but are those of the LIGHT.

O soul...surrender, fly, become  free, weightless, light, and so float in the peace of the LIGHT.

A end of week prayer I found:

Father in heaven, 
Another week has come and gone, 
and despite the challenges I encountered, 
my faith never wavered in you. 
Thank you for holding my hand each day,
 for placing your arm around me, 
and walking with me through the joys and sorrows.
 Help me to have a good night's sleep
 that I may joyfully greet the dawn of a new day. 
In Jesus name. 

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