Monday, February 9, 2015

Thoughts for a Monday Morning

I found these three quotes this morning and wanted to share them -- will deeper dive with them later today:

"The Secret of getting ahead is
getting started."
Mark Twain

"No matter how difficult the past,'you can always
begin again."
Jack Kornfield

"The words you speak become the house
you live in."

My challenge is to take some quiet moments during the day to think about one of these an incorporate your discovering into your actions, emotions and spiritual quest. Having mini quiet moments each day is a great way to refresh and regroup.  They serve as a spiritual nap -- the old adage -- five minuets in the horizontal can do more to refresh then a full eight hours of sleep.

Sunday, February 8, 2015

Once again it is Sunday.....

Seems like I always return to this on a Sunday evening ... I wonder why I can't seem to find the time during the week.  Maybe the time is there and the desire but I fall into the being lazy mode.  Fall back into that which is easier, which in many respects is a waste of time...lose self in the nonsense of TV and other things...I often wonder why I do that as this blog has become a safe haven and an opportunity to be myself and release inner feelings that I have locked away so often...the reason for this is to once again to make time for myself.

It has been a busy week in many aspects -- and i am in a struggle to get better organized with work projects.  There is certainly more on my plate and I have created and committed to a new range of projects.  Partially as they have been assigned and partially because I felt that I had fallen into a rut and questioned my own value at at work.  I know my philosophy is that all that matters is how you view or feel about what you do but there was a nudge from a source outside of myself encouraging me to take on more and be more creative.  This nudge was not from a person but was an inner energy that moved me on to new platforms. Ans so the "need for a "to Do" list is also a part of what I am trying to do -- I realize that the obligations floating in my head are not the way to meet deadlines and get things done in an organized way.  ALso the post-it notes approach does not work either.  Thus I go towards a new level of organization.  The new projects and challenges are exactly what I need, and will give me added opportunities to venture into not routine topics and projects.  I always strive on newness and creativity and doing things different, the unexpected. I remember when I taught at SLU students that took my classes always commented on that is not the way you taught this last semester-- you are using new books and there are new assignments -- and that is what made me successful. Not in the eyes of students alone but in my own eyes and that is where it all is being true to your own self and acting in a way that allows you to proudly looking at yourself and knowing the inner voice is what leads you and brings you peace.

On the personal side there has been many inner movements, urging me to reconsider where I put my time and energy. And so the quandary continues...Do I matter to others or do I just fit into their schedule -- the query of deeply mattering to another/others... not just the familiar but rather the ultimate fulfillment of one another -- the excitement that cannot be expressed...the knowing that one is always there for you and you for becomes unpressed by words and when it is there you do not have to wonder -- there is an inner knowing.

A close friend of mine, not actually a soulmate on a special level, posted this earlier this week on FB.  And it made me stand back and think deeper about where I feel most comfortable.  I am most comfortable when I take those silent moments and listen to the voice of the LIGHT, the voice of the universe.  If I turn the "BOB" off and allow myself to hear then there is the constant draw to a higher level of completion.  It is not so much my plan that matters but it is the surrender to a higher plan.  This does not take away my freedom or ability to choose.  Rather it gives me the gentle nudge and whisper to consider things with a new eye or a new vision. It is hard to explain but there is the struggle to let go and at the same time the peace that comes when I walk the path of the LIGHT.  It is when I surrender me, or maybe the me I think I should be into the me that has has a higher guidance calling me to is the transcendence to a level of peace. It is that warm hug that brings me comfort -- knowing that I am where I belong on this earthly journey.  Not so much an earthly journey as it is to the highest level of spiritual peace and fulfillment.  It is the continuous movement to both the known and the unknown -- it is the journey of challenging yourself and not being comfortable with just being but rather more comfortable with a full existence.

The ultimate is not beyond us, 
not living in someone or something else. 
 The ultimate lies with us, 
we just need to allow our self to surrender to this great self, 
which blends the entire universe as one
 and in so doing continue on our eternal journey 

Sunday, February 1, 2015

Snow, peace, a new month, a new feeling of knowing self

February 1, 2015 and the snow keeps coming and coming.  Been awhile since we have had snow like this -- blizzard conditions this afternoon and evening..will have to see what the morning brings.  To sit inside and look at it is great and very beautiful, just when you go out to shovel.  But the focus is on the tranquility of the beautiful scene of nature.

My ranting earlier this week about worry and feeling down served as a stimulus to reboot myself and my energy.  The week ended with a huge boost of creativity and I got several projects done.  Moved into a different realm of approaching what was on my plate, personally, work, and spiritually. I owned the end of the week and am very proud of what I produced.  Took the opportunity for a newness and higher level of making material relevant to the end user. New inner spirit for myself -- stopped thinking about the negative and approached the level of possibility and happiness -- I got the best of movement towards the LIGHT instead of letting darkness be in control. There was that feel good sense within -- I was able to move to a different level of thinking -- not thinking about but rather thinking with the world energy.

I found this image and it really "says" where we all can find peace and knowledge -- when we come home to our Heart -- that sacred space within that has a security and peace that you cannot express in words but where you can sit in the comfort of knowing you are where you belong...I always think of it as the place where we feel the hug of divine energy -- we are wrapped in a comfort not of this world but of the ultimate peace -- the LIGHT.  There is no time or space limitation -- we are somewhere that is not expressible. Funny how we are so content when we are there but often we fight, at least I do, letting go of control and falling into the suspended animation of trust. When we sit within that peace, nothing can invade the inner questioning of doubt.  And so I realize that there is always within each of us that sacred place, we need to turn off the distractions, the things we think that we must do or must worry about.  I think of it as the free fall into the nothingness -- a free fall into warm, peace and truth.

So Sunday is wrapping up, will have to see what Mother Nature brings over night -- how the roads are -- and how long it will take to dig the car out again -- who knows might just be surprised.

I wish everyone the strength and trust to go into your Heart and find the ultimate realization of what can be -- feel the illumination of the LIGHT. I leave you with words for reflection...

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

And so I wander....

Not sure where this month has gone or the past few weeks.  Well, not totally true.  I have in a sense been a recluse within myself.  Falling into the realm of worry about work and losing my job, into the valley of loneliness and into the darkness of self pity.  All in all in a funk I could not move beyond.  I admit I wasn't sure i wanted to leave it or actually had the inner energy to move beyond it. There was a sense of both security and insecurity there.

 I have spent much psychic energy toss questions over and over in my head.  I wanted to write about the struggle but never could move myself to do so.  I think it was because that would mean facing a reality I was not ready to accept or maybe because I could not "see" the other side it was easier to stay where I was.  All in all I am not sure what locked me in...the battle of not liking my mood and the contradiction of not wanting to move beyond. Buying more books to get the key out only to let them sit in the endless piles of -- yes I need to read that too.

 Understand the time has had many highs and lows but there was more of a grayness.  I guess it was a time of paradox.  Layoffs at work and I spent way to much worry energy that it would affect me...playing over every possible outcome.  There was the loneliness of needing to know where I stood in the lives of the people that matter to recurring wonder of "do I really matter."  Playing over in my head and heart the hurts I have caused by my choices. This seems at times to be a recurring theme.

Ever know you should..know you can and you just sit there??? Drives me crazy but where I am at times.

And so I am here again -- my stream of flowing consciousness -- a sense of spiritual sum it up I am in a blah realm -- the good and the bad all flow into the same sphere of existence.  Desires are there and strong at times but the grayness wins over a movement to the LIGHT.  Others that are hurting come to me as "father confessor" and to be their comfort and ear -- never allowing myself to let on that I was suffering from a similar set of feelings. I never mind helping -- glad they trust me...BUT...I could never do that for some reason, let them know I was also hurting -- To paint the full picture, to write the lyrics of my song, my over sensitivity and self pity often has won out over the past weeks.  No I am not a disaster just on a plateau of nothingness at times.

The rambling of this entry is where I sit in my head, heart and soul -- a creative energy at work waxes and wanes and my spiritual life is full of no movement and emptiness -- it is as if I am writing/creating a pencil sketch and do not know how to put the colors and texture into the picture. Like the grayness of the world in winter -- struggling to let the sun in or transforming the dull of the winter earth into a beautiful white design.

And so dear LIGHT draw me in -- illuminate me -- do not draw me in but grab me and shake me into the reality of hope. Rattle my excuses -- ok give me a spiritual kick in the ass...tear up the list of my excuses -- remove that security blanket -- give me the energy and grace. Answer me!

Monday, January 19, 2015

Caught my eye -- Monday's meditation

Nothing is every static, all things are in motion.  It is the motion of life that makes us all we can be.  It is accepting the series of changes that builds us up, makes us complete, becomes the wonderful picture of our lives.  The key is to flow with the changes -- move with them and not worry about them.  The static person dies both inside and out...the person that allows the change to freely flow moves to TRUTH and LIGHT.

Sunday, January 18, 2015

And so it is Sunday night...

Not sure where the week has gone not to mention the weekend.  The week ended with me slipping on black ice in the parking lot in my building on the way to work.  Needless to say it still hurts.  Going from a standing position to hitting your tailbone, back and head is not very comfortable. Guess I am getting old.

Yesterday brought with it a melancholy mood and resulted in my re-organizing and re-arranging my room creating more of a me space and a "new" spiritual place. Funny how our moods can serve as a stimulant to change that we do not even know we need. The peace energy is already being felt, and now I just need to release and act on the moment and not do my usual planning approach.  I realize I have enough versions of the Bible and enough reflective books and other good reads that Barnes and Nobel and Amazon are not going to see Bob for awhile...we will see how long it lasts.

At church tonight the entrance hymn was one of my favorite -- The Summons.  It certainly came at the right time and the whisper of the spirit was felt as a tingling and warm hug as we sang it. Hard to explain but there was the answer(s) to question I quandary over all too often. I put it here for your reflection as well.

1. Will you come and follow me
If I but call your name?
Will you go where you don’t know
And never be the same?
Will you let my love be shown,
Will you let my name be known,
Will you let my life be grown
In you and you in me?

2. Will you leave yourself behind
If I but call your name?
Will you care for cruel and kind
And never be the same?
Will you risk the hostile stare
Should your life attract or scare?
Will you let me answer pray’r
In you and you in me?

3. Will you let the blinded see
If I but call your name?
Will you set the pris’ners free
And never be the same?
Will you kiss the leper clean,
And do such as this unseen,
And admit to what I mean
In you and you in me?

4. Will you love the ‘you’ you hide
If I but call your name?
Will you quell the fear inside
And never be the same?
Will you use the faith you’ve found
To reshape the world around,
Through my sight and touch and sound
In you and you in me?

5. Lord, your summons echoes true
When you but call my name.
Let me turn and follow you
And never be the same.
In your company I’ll go
Where your love and footsteps show.
Thus I’ll move and live and grow
In you and you in me.

This song is so powerful.  In each verse we are asked by the LIGHT, by Jesus, if we are willing to let go of self to follow and serve him. No, it is not a call to we but a call to Bob.  The call to move into the heart of the divine, and to lay there in peace and tranquility. And then with the comfort, strength and grace found in the bosom of the LIGHT we can move to help others. In the first reading tonight it was the call of Samuel who did not understand it was the voice of God calling until he surrendered and said yes. The gospel is about the call of the first disciples and the change pf Simon, son of John, having his name changed to Peter.  This song has always filled me with joy and an urge to change. It is like the warm hug I so often need and long for.  It is a challenge but also placed within the grace of being able to respond to needs within and around us. 

It reminded me tonight of Pope Francis' homily yesterday to the youth of the Philippines to surrender their mind, their heart and their hands to those in need.. He challenged everyone to not just act and think they are helping but extend your hand and take that of those you help and be open to what they give you -- move beyond the gift you think you give them to admit your own vulnerability and receive the gift and grace they give to us.

And so I accept the call to follow the LIGHT, the Lord, the Divine energy -- not by some set of laws and precepts, not by some pre-established set of rules, but by an openness to the call.  My hope, my goal, my journey is:

Lord, your summons echoes true
When you but call my name.

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Sunday reflection...

"Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible."

--St. Francis of Assisi

I found this quote today and it really made me often I focus on what I think is necessary but in the end is it really necessary.  Or rather are they things I want to do to avoid other things, are they things that I place in the category of necessary only to avoid the things that I really should focus on. I have thought that the necessary are those things that have a certain level of obligation attached to them.  They are things that bring good and comfort to others...they are the things that call to use to utilize our energy.  The necessary are those things that make us happy and complete but in evaluating what makes them necessary what level of existence are they -- physical, mental or physical. There in lies the essence of the evaluative.  We should be focusing on those things that add to our spirit and move us closer to the LIGHT.  Yet, in reality for me those are often the things that fall into the category -- Oh yea I will get to that -- or I do lots of planning and never really acting. The necessary are those things we cannot avoid or maybe better said those things we should not avoid because in the end their reward has a much deeper meaning or level of satisfaction.  The necessary are those elements of obligations that will make us a better person and also are towards assisting others...they cannot be avoided.  When they are there is an angst within for not acting.

The possible -- what falls in that category -- not to be too philosophical but the possible are those elements of our life which are not so much easy to do but those things that move us to a higher level of existence.  They are those things where we take the risk and approach the unknown.  They are possible when we give up our fear.  The possible things are those elements that whisper --it is ok, you can do this. If we are honest with ourselves the possible things are those things that we deeply know within our core that we can do -- the things that if we let go of the safety-net we can conquer them.  

If you consider the life of St Francis we see that once he stopped living for himself, and living for and with the divine, those things that were possible took on a totally different framework.  They were no longer the things that he had long talks with himself why he could not do them, or why they were not meant for him.  They were not the things that brought inner and emotional/spiritual pain. The move to the LIGHT gave him a new energy and trust -- in essence this move gave him a new happiness and a new vision of his call.  This is what I feel he is saying here in this passage. As the scripture today says --

Pay attention, come to me;
listen, and your soul will live.

It is when we trust -- when we let go of the human limits that the impossible things become the routine and become those things that make us complete and paint the picture of who we are -- there is a new freedom. It is this freedom that brings truth and peace of mind -- the completion we each long for.

And so I began with a quote in this reflection and give you another to consider -

Saturday, January 10, 2015

Our strength..our way...our grace

O, how often I look at a weakness or when something bad happens as "what did I do wrong," or "why me."  I dwell on the hurt and the ill that is caused.  I focused on my level of frustration with the set of events rather than looking at how can I use this to grow.  My way of dealing with such things has always been to panic or to delve into a deep depression of anxiety.

This passage made me think or maybe realize that God is always there.  He is the LIGHT and is a source of strength.  If I would only let go of control, not to have to be perfect and always right and fall into the arm of God I would have a refreshing newness and comfort.  Why is it that I have always turned to the worry stage rather than to the grace stage.  Grace is always there and we have a great storehouse within.  It is a set of seedlings withing us that we only have to tap as as source of strength and comfort.  Grace is a gift that is freely given, and thereby we must freely receive it and use it as a source of growth and comfort.  These two passages from scripture for this weeks liturgy say it all:

Oh, come to the water all you who are thirsty;
though you have no money, come!

Seek the Lord while he is still to be found,
call to him while he is still near.

Here in lies the truth of this above quote -- that our strength -- the thirst we have for peace when we are hurting and feel lost is found in the arms and the comfort of the LIGHT.  The love of the divine becomes fully shown when we accept our weakness and hurt and let the void be filled.  WE do not, or maybe better, I do not have to be perfect and be all.  It is OK for me to to be weak, it is OK for me to need the help of others but most important that of the LIGHT. I have always had this Irish Catholic guilt, that whispers in my ear -- what did you do wrong, why did you do that, why didn't you...

I am slowly coming to the realization that this journey called life is full of up and downs and it is our call to respond to the moments.  To respond not by someone else road-map bu by our own vision.  The essence of being to to live for your inner call and be true to your picture that you paint every day. 

I now realize that by not being in control  and allowing the divine presence to serve as a guide and to call me to say yes to the grace within.  It is the opportunity to fall freely into the unknown -- and in that act of free falling to find the true self I am desiring to form within.

Friday, January 9, 2015

The struggle we all have to be real...

Oh how easy our life would be if we could each take the risk
 to be true to ourselves and what we feel is right.
O how perfect to let the love of another fill us and make us whole.
The beauty to be ourselves and not the stuffed person we fell others want us to be. 
Not to live by fear.
It is when we give into love and forget the what we should be and start being ourselves, 
free from the wants of others desires.
We then become all we are to be and ultimately we become real.
Never to fall back into the mask we lived behind before.
We now are the full expression of self and the LIGHT.
Take the risk and become REAL.

And so it is Friday....

I am not sure where this week has gone...busy and hectic in many respects with work, my dad's surgery and then the snow storm and deep freeze. I usually love the white painting of the earth by snow but this week it was just way too cold and below zero the whole could not even walk without feeling the cold deep within...and to think I was layered.

Hard to get through the week and still have time to reflect and write it down...lots of reflection and self-talking but still was a rambling of ideas.  I must admit that I have begun to change my routine by not watching tv to chill at night but rather to listen to music and use my chromebook...which I am now very much addicted to. This "new" approach has been beneficial and when I do not make the time I feel a loss and hole within.  So I feel that I am getting more on the focused path to tranquility and some level of inner peace. Today I picked up a new book by Brene Brown -- The Gifts of Imperfection and another Merton book or two :).  Again the age old Bob issue -- don't just buy the books, read them... and read the ones you have --- my book syndrome or maybe better put as a addiction.

Throughout this week I still have experienced that longing, that draw towards a more inner or spiritual space.  The draw and urge towards the LIGHT... the quiet urge, and yes the divine whisper within.

I love the image that is exactly what I feel/sense...the nudge to take the risk to move closer to God and further from my inner feeling of what I should be or do.. It is a very comforting whisper -- but at the same time unsettling.  It is a paradox.  I know that it is not an accident, it is the call to transgress from what is to what is unknown.  It is as if there is a warm hug within -- a spiritual quivering.  Such that I am drawn toward but also pull back.  It is almost as if I want to just curl up and let go -- like being in a warm blanket of a new security. The fact that this does not go away and in fact is becoming stronger is "telling" me that is is the most real "calling" I have had for a long time.  Each step forward becomes easier and my pulling back is less frequent or may less in distance.

The ultimate call we each have is to surrender and fall into the warm of the LIGHT.  To surrender the old self and ultimately to discover the true know your ultimate calling...the completion and satisfaction of all longings and desires...that are no longer mine but are those of the LIGHT.

O soul...surrender, fly, become  free, weightless, light, and so float in the peace of the LIGHT.

A end of week prayer I found:

Father in heaven, 
Another week has come and gone, 
and despite the challenges I encountered, 
my faith never wavered in you. 
Thank you for holding my hand each day,
 for placing your arm around me, 
and walking with me through the joys and sorrows.
 Help me to have a good night's sleep
 that I may joyfully greet the dawn of a new day. 
In Jesus name. 

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Good advice for the soul...

I found this passage and it really "spoke to me"... the more i read it the deeper the meaning seems to become.  At the same time, when I initially read it I thought, "oh yes very true, I can do that."  Yet, after several re-reads I am drawn into the deeper challenge, not the meaning but the challenge within.  It is in a sense a call to go beyond the self, and personal needs and to fly into the spirit of the needs of others.  It means to put others first and to accept the consequences that are within such a way of life.  It is to a degree a re-expression of the golden rule, but even more it is a set of mantras to live your life by.

I think one almost needs to break this longer passage up into short values that could be adopted daily to live by.  It is in a way taking each challenge and perfecting it and then moving to the next.  When all have been achieved you are a new person, you are a complete person.  You are become free from self and open to live and serve others.  It is a wonderful example of what it means to grow and ultimately to live in the LIGHT. I think the best path is not to jump around and perfect each attitude that is easy for you --  but to flow with the intent of the total passage, section by section.  If you slowly read it you can see that there is a progression of steps, it is as if you climb the ladder to an unselfish life, one that at each stage expresses a greater love for others.

And so I plan this week to work on "Hate no one ..." This really is at times hard and a challenge as it really means that we live from total forgiveness...we let me go and to accept the other.  I know that I take certain hurts very personally, and dwell on them, often to the extent of almost being OCD.  And so there is a real challenge to Bob here, to use the hurt not as a level of self-pity but rather as a catalyst to grow.  As a means to see and understand why I was hurt; and was it really my pride that got in the way.  To use hurt as a growth, means to look deeper into the self and understand where you can grow and improve. By letting go of the hurt, we free ourselves, and move closer to the LIGHT.  It is also an opportunity to help the one that caused the hurt to grow and move away from their own self-love.

I know this will not be easy, as I take many things personally, and often stronger than they were intended.  It comes from my age old self history of the need to please and have acceptance.  In recent years I have moved further from that level but it is still there at times.

O Soul free yourself
free yourself from hurt
let go of the anger
let go of your pity

Freedom of self is ...
It is the goal to happiness
It is the path to realization
Realization that we are more then self

The hurt is there and real
But you control its depth
You lock it within
You harbor it, control it

Move beyond and grow
You cannot deny it
But you can use it 
As a grace, not hinderance

Monday, January 5, 2015

Answer to my query...

This was posted to on FB by my good friend Olga.  It was like an instant burst of fresh air and exactly what I needed.  It was almost as if Olga knew exactly what I needed; actually we are often in sync and sent energy and light to each other to support and refresh. And so this is way this quote is for me.  Yesterday I posted about the struggle I have had to trust the inner urge I have had -- pulling me in an unknown direction.  Yet, this is exactly what I have been experiencing -- that inner whisper.  The call to slow down and to listen to the voice within calling me.  I usually make chatter to drown it out with my list of excuses or occupying myself with certain OCD habits. In essence I did not let go and TRUST.  I now understand that that whisper, that little voice I have had within is not accidental but is a call from the LIGHT to trust.  I have had many questions dancing around in my head about work, life, health, family and friends...all coming into a verge of worry and almost a constant list of "what if..."

And so now I am feeling a peace as I give into the little whisper -- it is like I could just free fall.  Thus, this quote is to me a message of how to walk and how to respond to life.  Not my running away from it but rather to totally give into the whisper within.  Ok, easier said than done, but I know not just cognitively but also emotionally and spiritually to  the urge I have felt is not of my making, and is not present just because but rather is an essential call from the LIGHT.  It truly is full of the truth that I seek. It will take me time to fully accept it, and I know my natural pattern will be to fall back to my level of uncertainty and need to be in control....but but a spontaneous post from a friend is the voice I have needed. 

Oh Trust, continue to call and whisper, be patient with me.  It will take me time but I am now so much more willing to float into the truth you bring.  So often the answers to our questions is right there -- present within, but because it is not in the tone we expect we ignore it.  The language of the LIGHT is full of gentleness and is a whisper.  I think of the comfort that one can experience from a whisper -- the calm and the peace it can give -- wrapping us in the arms of love and comfort.  It is that warm hand that holds us when we are afraid...and so I take the hand of trust and continue on this journey... Oh inner wisdom and truth hold me in the security of your love and ultimately your LIGHT.

ok -- the powers are strong today -- here is a prayer that just came in one of my email daily meditations

"Lord Jesus, your ways are life and light! Let your word penetrate my heart and transform my mind that I may see your power and glory. Help me to choose your ways and to do what is pleasing to you."

Sunday, January 4, 2015

This is Epiphany -- can I accept the call...

I have been out of sorts all day.  There has been something nagging at me on the inside.  A level of stress and wonder and in a sense, a fear.  Of course part I can explain from the coming of winter snow and ice and hating to drive in it.  Worried about trying to get to and from work -- frantically trying to get winter tires to no avail as if that would solve the my mind at least it does.  The only luck is an appointment tomorrow on the way home from work -- an expense I really do not want but my VW beetle hates the snow and ice so I feel this will help.  We will see, one can only hope.

But what is this uneasy feeling within, worry about work, worry about changes and possible layoff.  I think that is present within and I can only hope and pray It will not happen to me. I will see, I bring value but is it enough -- who will decide.  I hate how I let things eat at me inside -- how worry just takes hold and runs wild within me.  I have always been this way, sometimes are worse than others.  I just wish I could have enough faith and trust.  Yet, they are words not built into my being right now.  I do not feel that comfort feeling of inner peace right now.  I just wish it would be there within, maybe it is and I do not have the courage to take the risk to let it take hold.  WIll see what tomorrow brings -- I just need to recommit to be my best and do my best and go above and beyond what is expected. Not plan to do the best but to make it happen, every day and moment.  Not because of others but because I want it and need it.

Basically, with all the above just feeling blah and lonely today -- maybe that is the root of all other things.  Tired of being alone at times...the gray day does not help my mood either...rambling...

And so the Christmas Season, in the Catholic tradition, comes to an end today with the celebration of the feast of Epiphany -- the three wise men bringing gifts to the Christ child. I know it is usually January 6th, but it is celebrated today. I wonder what gift do I have to bring. My fear of driving with the ice has kept me home from church...I know a lame excuse. But was that the real reason... The Lord has certainly blessed me and given me may gifts during the health crisis of 2014, the least I could do I to bring something and freely give to Him during this holy time. I certainly have been lifted up so often over the last several months.  But... Is it fear again or being lazy that holds me back -- the constant act of pondering and planning and not acting rises within again.  Rather than giving a gift I feel as if I am asking for one.  Ahhh but the gift I can give is to trust in the power of the LIGHT and to walk ever closer to it.  Not when I want, not because it is the thing to do but rather because it is what I need and that is the draw I have been feeling.  The draw, the pull to let go and to trust. My gift is the risk, the Yes, the falling into the LIGHT.

O Child of the Light
You have come to set us free
You have come not to ask 
But to give

I feel you calling and pulling

Gently inviting me to change
Saying that it is time to live
Not for me but for you

How can I let go, will I

Is that the gift that I can give
Oh child of the LIGHT
I long for an inner peace

The Holy Ones have all found

Found the way to say YES
Where was their strength
Where was the key, the trust

Oh child of the LIGHT

Bathe me in your brilliance
Warm me in love and peace
Can I really let go

I feel as if I am split in being

Walking on two sides of the LIGHT
Ready to say Yes, but can't
Falling back into the fear

I long to grasp the unknown

To live not in me but the LIGHT
Oh how can one risk
Oh how can I risk, say yes

Why the fear, the holding back

It has always been like this
How can I fall into the peace
Let me fall into the LIGHT

Saturday, January 3, 2015

Excellent reflection by Pope Francis

VATICAN CITY — When Pope Francis met before Christmas with Vatican employees, mostly lay people with families, he asked them to do 10 things. The list sounded remarkably like suggestions for New Year’s resolutions:
– “Take care of your spiritual life, your relationship with God, because this is the backbone of everything we do and everything we are.”
– “Take care of your family life, giving your children and loved ones not just money, but most of all your time, attention and love.”
– “Take care of your relationships with others, transforming your faith into life and your words into good works, especially on behalf of the needy.”
– “Be careful how you speak, purify your tongue of offensive words, vulgarity and worldly decadence.”
– “Heal wounds of the heart with the oil of forgiveness, forgiving those who have hurt us and medicating the wounds we have caused others.”
– “Look after your work, doing it with enthusiasm, humility, competence, passion and with a spirit that knows how to thank the Lord.”
– “Be careful of envy, lust, hatred and negative feelings that devour our interior peace and transform us into destroyed and destructive people.”
– “Watch out for anger that can lead to vengeance; for laziness that leads to existential euthanasia; for pointing the finger at others, which leads to pride; and for complaining continually, which leads to desperation.”
– “Take care of brothers and sisters who are weaker … the elderly, the sick, the hungry, the homeless and strangers, because we will be judged on this.”
– "Making sure your Christmas is about Jesus and not about shopping."

And which one really calls to you?  How will you respond?

More than just a is a need and desire...

I have planned to start my blog again all too long; there is always some longer can I white-wash the need and desire.

And as 2015 begins I wonder what it will bring. What unexpected events, what challenges, what happiness and how life will unfold.  In April of 2014 my entire like changed when i suffered a mild stroke -- it was certainly an awakening in many ways and made me rethink life and my say the least I no longer eat the way I now have awareness of medical conditions I must monitor and take medications for.  I am certainly a healthier person in the physical and at times in the spiritual and emotional.  Since April I have gone from 247 lbs to 167lbs.

My goal for 2015 is to get the same hold on the later two aspects as I have on the physical.  I make some progress in these two areas but then seem to fall back into old ways.  The key is regular acts and determination.  It is to act out of desire and not out of fear and obligation.  That is how I have made the necessary physical changes.  I start on the great path and then get lazy or create excuses. I cannot continue that way, I need the rebirth I have experienced physically within my emotional and spiritual awareness.  I bought a stepper to continue with the physical changes...and I guess all the books I buy are my steppers to a better emotional and spiritual life...problem is i do not always have the disciplines to act.

Ok self stop making the excuses and rambling just start to do it...rearranging stuff and moving books around is not reading and not growing.  Pick up the books and spiritual texts and start...not tomorrow but today.  Do not do this because it is a new year, you know how good you are with resolutions, do it because you want to and ultimately need to.  I often make MGM productions of things and never really make it happen.  I commit to me to change -- stop the TV watching and utilize my inner self to grow. I have felt a nudge, no more like a magnetic pull in that direction for sometime...I need to surrender and see where it will take me.

O self why do you always run
Why do you always plan but not act
What is it that you know you need
Honestly let go of control

The LIGHT has long been calling you
Even more it has been pulling you
Yet you constantly run and hide
It is the peace and truth you long

The inner unrest must be silenced
It cannot be silenced by you
It cannot be satisfied by planning
It can only reach peace in the ULTIMATE

Now is the time, it is the moment
What you long for, that peace
Is right there, stop running
Give in, trust and release the fear

The excuses are over, this you know
Trust and fall into the Light
Fall into the peace and strength you need
This is more than desire, it is life

This is the hand to hold,
The ear that listens
The heart that cares
It is the destiny you desire-PEACE

For Saturday

Psalm 98:1,3b-6

O sing to the LORD a new song,
     for he has done marvelous things!
     His right hand and his holy arm have gotten him victory. 
All the ends of the earth have seen the victory of our God. 
Make a joyful noise to the LORD, all the earth;
     break forth into joyous song and sing praises! 
Sing praises to the LORD with the lyre,
     with the lyre and the sound of melody! 
With trumpets and the sound of the horn
     make a joyful noise before the King, the LORD!


Thursday, January 1, 2015

A new Irish blessing -- sending to my family and friends

Like this -- a non traditional version...

And so the journey begins as 2015 starts -- about time.

Found this on FB -- great questions to ponder as 2015 begins -- good for a ongoing reflection-- plan to choose one each day:

Hay House Daily Affirmations
Happy New Year! Here are some New Year thoughts from Louise Hay:

Today, we welcome a New Year into our lives. This is a good time for us to see what is to be released, what is to be kept and improved, and what is to be brought in.

Take time to ask and explore these simple questions:

What shall I now release from my life?
What or who no longer works for me?
What am I holding on to that holds me back?
What thoughts or beliefs belong to the old me?
How am I being unloving to myself?
Am I ready to let go?
What do I believe that really works for me?
What is going on in my life that is terrific and wonderful?
Where am I being very loving to myself?
Where am I most content?
Let me acknowledge myself for all the growth and change.
What do I want to bring to my life?
What do I want to create?
How do I want the next year to be?
Who do I want to bring into my world?
How do I want to look?
What image do I want to project?
How healthy do I want to be?
How prosperous do I want to feel?
How much love am I willing to experience?
What kind of world do I want to live in?
Where do I want my spirituality to go?


I know that where I am is the totality of possibilities . . . not just a few possibilities, but the totality of all creation.

I am not limited by statistics, medical opinions, time, or authorities.

I am one with the infinite wisdom and capabilities of the Universe itself.

All good is available to me, right here and right now.

All I have to do is to use the power of my thoughts to create that which I desire. I know that. Now let me live it!